After two grueling weeks of pray balance is becoming clearer. The exercise thing is becoming a regular habit and I am finding myself realizing that balance cannot be taught it must be self-learnt. I know many people with zero self discipline and being one of them going through this change makes me realize how much they will never change and the fact that they are missing out is just astonishing. My new housemate/ best friend has been changing his life with exercise as well and it makes it so much easier having someone on a similar journey, I don’t feel so alone.
Things are settling down with house, uni and job and I am starting to realise that balance is acheivable. There are days when you need to be indulgent and feed the “Eat” part of your life, days when you must be completely humble, simple and still which is something I have struggled to acheive as I am quite eccentric and random alot of the time. The thing I struggle most with is “Love” after my last relationship I find it incredibly hard to let anyone into my life and also realise that a big part of it is struggling with losing my independance. While I do not completely close myself off to the idea of love or “the one” I just don’t honestly get that many offers and when I do it is never from anyone I can see myself with relationship wise.
What I do know is that “Pray” is EXTREMELY hard and should not be under-estimated. I am enjoying the quiet times I have and dealing with pain and hurt from the past to let it go and move on.