Hot Chocolate and your late 20’s


Shopping has always been a challenge for me, I love clothes but my ever yo-yoying weight makes it hard and at most times impossible for me to find anything I like and something that fits and doesn’t make me look like a pregnant hippo (i know i know its not the clothes fault!) I took some of Aunty Liz’s advice (Liz Gilbert Eat Pray Love who has graciously allowed fans to call her that) and took to giving instead of receiving, I took my parents out to the movies, something they haven’t done in YEARS and after to Max Brenner for desert. When we where walking around the newly renovated shopping centre admiring the tiles and new design I noticed that the majority of the straight male population wearing skin tight jeans and Im not talking about just tight im talking skin tight, outline showing tightness, something that I thought was only for girls? I don’t mean to be gender stereotyping or anti-feminist etc but really guys, what girl would find that attractive? This mixed with the hair cuts and colours I had to double take to see if they where male or female (something I do it’s weird I observe people alot, I’m not a freak I promise!) I imagined myself in those jeans, a huge chunk of thigh wobbling about with material clinging to every roll, every crack and inch of fat on my legs. Not attractive! I am aware that they are called skinny jeans and that is the reason but still who find a preying mantis attractive?
After this revelation we went to Max Brenner, I greedily inhaled a warmed melted chocolate brownie with Italian Thick Dark Hot Chocolate while we observered the table next to us, a group of preying mantis girls wearing the shortest shorts I have ever seen and sharing a chocolate covered pizza between them, all the while sipping on hot chocolates, after the pizza was demolished they proceeded to the chocolate shop where cellaphone bags of chocolate chunks emerged from their bags and where devoured. I sat there with my mouth wide open all the while thinking “I hope your metabolisms fail you like mine has you greedy bi…” Then I took my jealousy out of the equasion and thought about it. My friend recently bought a new entertainment unit and I begrudgingly helped him lug it up his steep staircase and into his lounge room. As we both squatted to rest the unit on the living room carpet both our sets of knees cracked echoingly thoughout the townhouse, as we both looked at each other he said “Welcome to our late 20’s! Everything is downhill from here” Whilst I laughed and agreed with this comment I realise that for the rest of my life I am going to be fighting for my body, fighting for my metabolism and to keep it under control. Gone are the days of pizza, hot chocolate followed by chocolate chunks and welcome to the real world.

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