This post it hard to write it has been a year since one of my friends committed suicide. He was the second of my friends who did it within a month and it was a real wake up call for me. Before this happened I am ashamed to say that I thought suicide was just a cry for attention, people say it to get attention and it’s not real. This rude awakening shook me out of my ignorance and made me realise the narrowness of my views. After getting over the initial shock of what had happened the funeral took it to the next level. Seeing his open casket with his barely recognizable face and body shook me to my core. While my friends around me cried I was in completely shock. I froze, everything inside me just clammed up. The funeral moved on with kind words from his friends. A speech from his girlfriend broke my inside’s completely and the fact that there where no warning signs, no discussions he just went and did it and no-one knew till it was too late.
I have known people that have said they wanted to take their own lives and I would roll my eyes and just think “Pfft attention seeker” and ignore them for a while. It is this kind of narrow minded behaviour that I really want to change about myself and this happening helped snap me out of it. Whilst the sad reality is that people do still say they want to commit suicide as a ploy for attention unfortunately it is something that we as a society can no longer afford to ignore. Depression is a disease while it may not be externally visible there are clear signs that you can pick up on and if anyone comes to you asking for help or for an ear to listen please don’t ignore them help them get help we can no longer let human beings take their own lives.
Zep was an amazing guy with everything to live for but felt like he could no longer be in this world. One thing I will never forget about Zep was his story about changing his name as he felt this set him apart from everyone else and established his identity. It freed him from constraints he felt and it is a story I will never forget. He was always happy, always there to listen and offer good advice. I hope you have found peace Zep and are in a better place.