Yesterday was the perfect morning to go to the Farmers Markets, it was a brisk morning but the sun was peeping out through the clouds, forcing it’s rays to cast a subtle glow of warmth. My friend and I have not been to the markets for a while so this was a refreshing change for a Sunday morning. It is now where I must point out my biggest weakness. French food. I am obsessed with it and if you know me you will know that I love all things French and when it comes to french food, in particular french pastries I will surrender completely.
As we strolled through the markets munching on our bacon and egg rolls and sipping our lukewarm coffee from the rudest barista on the planet we arrived at Stephanie’s Gourmet Foods, home of the finest French cuisine in this area. Immediately my eye’s lit up and that wave of French obsession swept over me and there was nothing anyone could do to stop it. Or was there? As I admired the pate, the fresh loaves of Sourdough and dijon sour cream mayonnaise my eyes raised to the man behind the cabinet staring at me. He had a sparkle in his eyes and a killer smile, it was a face I recognised but where from? I immediately recognised him from a chat program I use on my I-Phone (yes it’s Grindr!) and we had chatted several times before but nothing too serious. He opened his mouth and the most alluring irish accent came out, I was immediately smitten. Everything within me froze a gorgeous man who sells French food could there be any more of a perfect man for me?
We began conversing about the pate and sourdough as I handed over my money for the food a spark ignited when our hands collided. I do not know if he felt the same but I felt it, there was something there, something that I prayed he felt too and would respond too. I collected my bag with the sourdough and pate inside and my friend commented on the look he gave me. This was just seeming too impossible to be true, to be real, could it?
Later that day we messaged each other on the chat service (Yes Grindr I know!) and I did the thing that I have never done before, the brave thing that I have been so scared of for so long. I asked him out on a date, nothing big just coffee and a chat and see where things go. Fortunately he agreed and it is happening later this week. I got to thinking later what am I so afraid of? For so long I have put off asking guys out and if I have an interest in someone letting them know and going for it all because I believed I wasn’t good enough. Looking back now I cannot understand how I came to this conclusion? I do not want to sound vain but I am definitely worthy of love and no-one will ever convince me otherwise again.