I have not updated on here in a while because of a few things, the most important being that I needed a break, time to figure out exactly what this blog was to me and if and why I should continue. A few confronting things have happened in the last few weeks that have opened my eyes to things that I took for granted, things that I thought where important but actually are not. The main thing I have discovered is that I place too much importance on other people’s opinions and advice, particularly those who are not further ahead in life than me. I found myself making life decisions from advice from people who are not in the same direction as me and finding that once these decisions had been made I was unhappy with the results particularly because these choices where not the right ones for me. It sounds so simple and straight forward but it is this revelation that I am clinging to at the moment.
It started with a personal attack on my values, my decisions, my choice to be “single” and choose a career and education over the pursuit of a relationship. Finding out these real feelings and opinions at first hurt and offended me. I was devastated for days and could not believe that this was happening to me. The sheer shock that these people thought this way about me spun me off balance and threw me hurtling into a vortex of confusion and pain. After a few days of quiet reflection and meditation I came to this one conclusion, I make the decisions for my life. While other people will always have their opinions and their beliefs about what you should do, changing your life or basing a decision based on a recommendation is never a good thing. While it may be an option to consider it is never the absolute option for you, never be persuaded by someone else’s guidance (especially when they are on a completely different path to you). This is the most important thing I have learned in the last few years of my life.