Finally after a year of staying home and doing nothing and going nowhere I finally mustered the courage to get out of town with much thanks to my friends Nicole & Ryan who have just moved to the beautiful city of Canberra I accepted an invitation to stay for the weekend and spend my impending birthday with them. After a rather long train ride across the border I finally arrived in the most beautiful, lush and enchanting city. The air was refreshingly clean and the temperature was a perfect 23 degrees (Celsius) and I was ready to have an amazing weekend. Everyone on the streets seemed happy, people were smiling as you walked past, laughing, talking, just generally enjoying their lives and had a strong sense of who they where. I was getting nothing but good vibes and energy and I loved it.
As we sat down to lunch at this beautiful cafe right in the heart of the city it became increasingly clear to me that this place was happening, it was buzzing, the city was electrifying with energy and I felt it right through to my very core. These kinds of things usually scare me but for some reason I felt completely safe and happy with how it was making me feel. The food was incredible and with just the right amount of sunlight ensured that the day was absolutely perfect for an event I was dreading. Normally I love birthdays and they make me excited and happy but this year I was not really feeling it. I just wanted to get out of where I lived and experience something different.
After an afternoon of intense shopping and exploring we all sat down to eat at an extremely happening chinese restaurant right in the heart of the city. I was completely overwhelmed at how happening this place was, friends had told me that Canberra was a dead spot and nothing ever happened there and was boring. The overwhelming evidence was proving otherwise and I was happy that this was turning out to be one of the best weekends away I had ever had and it was only the first day. As we left the still crowded restaurant and headed back to their beautiful apartment overlooking the city we sat down to birthday cupcakes and talked about everything that we had missed in the whole 3 and a half weeks since we had seen each other, granted this is not a huge amount of time but for us it felt like months!
As soon as my head hit the pillow I passed out and fell into a coma for a good solid nine hours, when I awoke to another perfect 23 degree day we readied ourselves for our first Canberra adventure to the National Museum. After inhaling a coffee and croissant we headed into the museum and spent the morning and early afternoon marvelling at the wonders and history of our beautiful country. After what seemed like a never ending reminder of our invasive history we went back to the apartment and had some lunch and crashed out on the couch. Feeling refreshed and recharged it was obvious that there was a lot more shopping to be done and we really had to take every chance possible. Going into Peter Alexander I decided that I had to buy a new pair of pjs and after a long and exhaustive search found the perfect pair. I approached the counter and a tall and attractive guy was smiling at me, we exchanged pleasantries and he kept smiling and winking at me in a flirty manner, me being me did not pick up on this but my friend did. After we quickly dashed from the store to swap stories and confirm that their was flirting involved it suddenly hit me, what I had been missing out on for quite literally years now, this idea that my ex left me with. No-one could ever love you and that’s why I cheated on you. It all came flooding back and then I realised that I have spending the last 4 years living in fear of being rejected and locking myself away by choice rather than being forced to do it by someone else.
The next day we headed to the country for my first bumpkin experience and it did not disappoint, I got to meet the incredible family of my best friend who are loving, generous and some of the kindest and funniest people I have ever met, I like to think that my screaming on the back of a Landcruiser as Ryan went over every bump and ridge he could possibly find combined with feeding some extremely large and needy cows who surrounded me like a pack of hungry wolves and my knees literally shaking with fear but through all of this I realised that this kind of life is exactly what I want. A place of extreme and serene beauty surrounded by loved ones and living a full and happy life. It was the push I needed to get me out of my rut and back into the real world. Through this discovery I came to realise that I banished myself to Newcastle to re-group and re-build myself and I feel that I am nearing that completion and can feel a big move coming on soon, somewhere I can live my dreams and fulfil my destiny.