Part 6 – The Bitch You Live With
Immediately in the days following this things with CB started getting intense, we spent amazing nights cooking dinner for each other and watching movies. He introduced me to Dermalogica face products, we would spend our weekends hunting down Sony Aibos (a robotic dog do not even get me started on how much of life I wasted on this!) CB had a housemate named Ellen, she was a short dumpy sort of creature who was nice to your face but a cold hearted bitch behind your back and you never knew were you stood with her. After a couple of weeks CB and I got more serious, I would spend most of my time at his place or vice versa and before I came along they were attached at the hip. CB worked two jobs and a lot of the time I would be watching movies at his house waiting for him to get home. One night I found a card on his dresser from the sheriff advising to contact them immediately as they had a warrant out for his arrest as I picked up the card and stood there in complete shock I walked out to the kitchen and Ellen was there making some dinner. She could see something was wrong with me and asked what was up, not thinking properly I told her about the card and she grabbed me and sat me on the couch.
“Oh honey” she said “I have to keep telling the sheriff that he is not here and he is avoiding the whole thing. He really is not a nice person deep down. He has so many people after him he really is not someone I would want to be in a relationship with” As I sat on the couch attempting to process all of this information I was in complete shock. My idea of the perfect man and relationship was now beginning to diminish. “Also honey I wanted to tell you this earlier but didn’t know how you would react but he has guys here all the time, like when you are not here he has got someone else here.” The tree inside me began to wither and I began to cry uncontrollably, she comforted me and convinced me that all the proof I needed was to go through his internet browsing and IM history.
Let me go on the record and put in writing right now that I do not condone doing this under ANY situation it will only make a bad situation worse and there are better ways to get the truth out of someone. That being said at the time I did not know of or acknowledge this wisdom so I delved into the last 3 months of IM in MSN messenger and found messages from other guys wanting to meet up with him, the worst one I read was someone who wanted to meet up in a park and have CB piss all over him. I was completely disgusted and thought this was the end of my very first relationship. Ellen announced the she was going to bed and left me alone in the lounge room, immediately I called Cherry Jones and told her everything, within 5 minutes CB called me and said he was on his way home.
He arrived home and we locked ourselves in the bedroom and he explained everything, the sheriff thing was a mis-understanding with a civil dispute and the IM history was because he was confused about what we were and said that I was not giving him clear signals about what I wanted and thought of him. As I sat there processing all of this information I told him exactly how I was feeling and then out of my word came the three little words “I love you” He looked at me and looked like he was about to cry “I am sorry I do care about you a lot but I am not there yet” Normally this would be crushing for any normal person but no not me that just makes me dig in my talons in to the relationship more and convince myself that it will evolve over time and he will love me eventually.
The next few weeks I would stay at my house and wait for CB to finish work, he would pick me up on his way through and the plan was that I would never be alone with Ellen again. They were barely talking and things were becoming hostile between the two of them and I was stuck in the middle of it all. She would go out Friday night and stay out all weekend as we usually stayed at his house for the whole weekend. After a month of avoiding each other things turned hostile when morning trips to the shower would involve urinating in Ellen’s shampoo, conditioner and body wash. Extremely juvenile, incredibly immature and overwhelmingly hilarious. These acts of war incurred a retaliation when she returned the favour in over $1500 worth of Dermalogica products. The only solution for us was to move out so we spent the next month looking at every place in the city when we finally found an apartment in the main street of the city close to everything and it seemed like we had found our perfect solution. A few days before the move we were laying in bed when he turned to me and said “I love you” completely out of the blue and I am a little ashamed to admit that I did cry and as he hugged me and kissed me I felt like this was the beginning of the rest of my life. This was the relationship I had waited for my whole life, I could feel flowers blooming on the tree inside me and I was finally happy.