Past Part Three – Initiating Slut Mode All Space Cadets On Dick!
The house was old, VERY old, the paint was peeling from the weatherboards on the front verandah. The railing only went half way around and went on a slant to the ground, I definitely had down-graded. The carpet in the hallway had been there since the 1970s and not replaced since then either and from the level of dust and dog hair that formed the top layer it possibly could have been that long since it was cleaned. Still I had to start somewhere so here I was with a couple of bags that resembled my possessions. I slept on a mattress on the floor that belonged to my new housemate. A burly girl who resembled a giantess with two crooked buck teeth, both her arms covered in thick black hair with a mustache and leg hair to match. My days where spent looking for work, going to interview after interview and being generally depressed for the first few weeks after the realization that my relationship was over and would never be patched up. He wanted to remain “friends” and we did try but it was just too painful. I was completely crushed and could not believe that it was over.
The second week I was in my new house I got connected to the internet and decided some stalking was in order. I created a fake gaydar profile with some fake photos randomly downloaded and immediately hit on Tic Tac and after general chit chat began quizzing him about his “ex” Let me stop right here and say this is the WORST thing you can ever do both to your ex and to yourself. The first answer I got was “It just didn’t really work out so we went our separate ways” Not satisfied with this answer I pressed the issue further “Oh ok but seriously was it a bad break up?” my fake profile responded “No it just didn’t work out and that was that” The conversation then turned to when we would be meeting up. After I set a time and place I deleted the profile and felt a slight bit of remorse, was this huge break up just in my head? Had I pushed the issue and built up this big drama and reason in my head as to why we were now separate or had I just lost a lot more than just my boyfriend in the last few months.
As I began to think the realization came that I had lost my family, a fair few friends and my boyfriend. My entire world as I knew it had crumbled down and I had no supports to keep me stable. This was the first time that I had me and only me to rely on. I cannot stress the fear that this situation fills you with the first time you are in it. After a few weeks of living by myself some sort of natural instincts kicked in and I became self reliant. It is not something you can just do, it is self-taught and once you learn it you are set for life. I would take myself out all the time, exploring the city and its surroundings by myself and not needing anyone with me, in addition to having no money I managed to go out every Friday and Saturday night to a little pub called The Ed, it was 1 out of 2 gay venues in the local area. It was fabulous, it was the first place I ever saw a drag show and loved it. My first experience with a drag queen was Meglamania who still remains to this day one of the funniest people I know. Along with her bestie Kane St Kane together they welcomed me into the local community and to their social circles. I met their friends, their ex’s and acquaintances and I slept with them all, this was no mean feat and definitely something that at the time was a personal challenge that I fulfilled quite easily.
With my two night weekly visits I rapidly became the town bike. I am unashamed to say that I would have 2 -3 men over each Friday and Saturday night for mind numbing, blow and go sex with no intention of settling down. I wasn’t too picky I slept with bikers, lawyers, doctors, artists, football players (some high profile but of course have to remain nameless.) A few of them were drunk pick ups and looking back were not as pretty as I thought they were through my drunken haze. My only rule was that they never stay the night, most guys I found were ok with this but one in particular travelled an hour and a half to get to me insisted on staying the night. We had sex several times and he was incredibly talented with his tongue but as soon as it was over I wanted him out. It was a complete disconnection of emotion and any sense of human compassion. At the time this felt like the most rational way to deal with my pain, looking back I see just how much this would have hurt and the absolute rudeness of it. Whilst this may make me sound like a ginormous slut it was amazing. I had never felt so liberated and wanted in my whole life. Men wanted me not for me but for my body. This sounds incredibly vain and shallow on paper but I had pain and I needed a way to release it. This was what the movies, songs, tv shows and media were talking about wasn’t it? This was how life was meant to be and it was meant to feel amazing.
It was at this house that I met Malcolm and Jarrod who lived across the road as mentioned in my first chapter. They became my first official gay friends and we would spend endless nights in their lounge room drinking coffee, smoking and laughing. After several nights of this it led me to meeting one of their friends Big M. One of the first oddest relationships I have ever had. The first night he took Malcolm and myself on a “haunted tour” of Adelaide, showing us all the haunted places the city and suburbs had to offer. We stayed out all night and the tour was actually quite scary, which ended up with me all over him of course at the end of the night. We started dating but never slept together, not through lack of my trying. It was an odd relationship, the whole time I felt like he was sleeping with Malcolm as he seemed to connect with him more than me but I guess that is something I will never know.
Big M and I lasted about a month before I returned to my slutty ways and moved it to a new location The Hampshire of Hampy as it is known to the locals was a younger crowd. The pick ups were not that great, one night I started talking to this guy named Peter, he was straight apparently and just liked the feeling of being with another guy but was not looking for commitment as he wanted a wife and kids one day. Naturally this was the perfect fit for my current slutty state and we slept together several times. The boy looked good and was incredibly gifted with his hands. He was a mechanic and he was incredible! One night I was belting out a karaoke hit and he just stared at me the whole time I sang. Our eyes kept connecting and something inside me clicked, it was like my slut switch burned out and I had this incredible desire to have a relationship. This is the exact point that my life started turning and the new person seeking and craving a relationship emerged, so Pete if you are reading this you are to blame! Thank you very much!